So yeah…We have this slingshot monkey at work, see? From time to time we get to launching him over the cubicle walls at each other. So I lauch Mr. Space Monkey over the wall and hear gasps followed by laughter. It tuns out the windows of the office—get this—OPEN! We, by the way, work on the 13th floor…over Park Avenue…in Manhattan. It’s important to note at this point that the monkey has a hard noise box in his body that generates a screech as he flies through the air. So yeah…he’s basically a flying blackjack.
I come rushing down the elevator expecting to see an investment banker lying in a pool of venti latte and his/her own blood. But when I get to the sidewalk I see this:
He hit the street right by the curb, missing all, and since it’s New York nobody batted an eye at the sight of a monkey falling from the sky. So yeah…he lay there untouched, smiling, ready for another go. Unfortunately the screeching part still works.
I have my browser set up to open a random Wikipedia page. (Use: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random)
I won’t bore you with all the tales of times it has randomly displayed things that I had been improbably talking about earlier in the day, or the many times it has displayed something embarrassing/weird/offensive when somebody was looking over my shoulder.
What I will tell you about is this:
Today it opened with an article on “-Izzle”, as in “for shizzle”. Finding this amusing, I read on, leading to my favorite thing of the day. In trying to explain its usage the author(s) offers us this:
Although there are no hard-and-fast rules governing its usage, in general, the izz infix technique is performed by inserting izz, usually after a word’s last pre-vowel consonant in its final syllable without deleting any letters.Examples: minute becomes minizzute, and Kazakhstan becomes Kazakhstizzan. One-syllable words generally translate better with this technique: cream becomes crizzeam, for example.
Kazakhstan becomes Kazakhstizzan?!? That is your example? I salute you sir/madam for your absurdity is sublime.
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